Death

Death ; It's inevitable. No matter how much we think we can avoid it, and try our best to avoid it, it still comes. Sometimes, it creeps up on us and suddenly shows itself. Other times, we just know it's coming and thus, expect it. As it is widely known, when it's your time, it's your time. There is no way you can stop death form happening (unless you cheat death, which is something I would rather not go into).

I lost my 'puppy', Casino on valentines night. She was 11 years old. I came home after a BFF dinner with Sam and found her dead on the carpet in the TV room. I couldn't believe it. I screamed my lungs out while running upstairs to awaken my mom. We ran downstairs and I burst out crying and screaming. I hugged her so tight and kept on shouting the words "Wake up, girl. Wake up". However, she never did. I lay there next to her for about an hour before we wrapped her in a spotted bedsheet which I bought from the US when I was crazy about dalmations. We then carried her into the bathroom for the night.

I couldn't sleep all night and I couldn't stop crying. i wet downstairs a couple of times to look at her. She was lying in the bathroom, wraped up in the bedsheet, but her face was still visible. Everytime i touched her, she was harder than the previous time. She was definitely dead, but I couldn't accept the fact. By the time morning came, she was rock hard. It was the worst feeling ever, having to touch her and feel how hard she had become. I felt my heart break everytime I looked at her.

The next day, my Uncle and another man dug a hole outside my sister's house so that we could bury her. We brought her over to the hole, put her in and said a short prayer. Then, the hole was covered, and that was the last time I was able to see my pup.

I still remember the first day we took her home. We went to a pet shop in Penang called 'Puppyland' and asked if they had any Dalmations. We were in luck, there was a litter of 5 puppies; 4 males and 1 female. Seeing as how we have always had female dogs (and had 4 others waiting at home), we didn't have a choice when it came to choosing the puppy. So we decided to buy her. My dad paid for her with the money he had just won from the Casino (he won at the game of 'Dice') at Gentings a few days ago. Hence, we decided to name her 'Dice Casino'. From that day on, she became a member of the Victor family.

Casino has brought us nothing but joy these past 11 years. Born on the 30th of November (1 day after my birthday) 1997, we celebrated all our birthdays together. She was the most good natured dog I have ever known. She has never harmed anyone, or even tried to. She was so patient we Cash when we got her 3 years later. She acted as a mother to her, teaching her to become good-natured just like her (Cash had predisposed genes from a very fierce mother). She never fought back when cash bullied her, and she loved all of us in the family. She was the most faithful and grateful dog I have ever known.

Though I've been struggling to accept the fact that she's gone, apart of me knows that death is inevitable. Even if it didn't happen now, it would've happened sometime later. It is very difficult (and will continue to be very difficult), but sooner or later, I'm hoping I will accept it. I still come home everyday thinking that she'll be at the door to greet me. But, she doesn't. And then it hits me. She's gone...

I love you so much my pup. And I miss you.Things are never going to be the same without you....But I will see you again...I know that.

Signing Out!